I Believe...

Here's a small list of things I believe, take em or leave em:

-Mayonnaise is nasty.

-Bacon flavored chapstick is worse.

-Shaving your legs is a tradition that was made up as another way for women to feel inferior. HOWEVER, putting my cleanly shaved legs into my bed after I have washed my sheets is orgasmic.

-Statewide Abstinence-Only sex ed is the best way to make sure your state's teen pregnancy rates skyrocket.

-Women are amazing.

-Men can be amazing.

-My friend Barbara makes the prettiest babies.

-My nieces are smarter than me already. The oldest is 7.

-Wrecking Ball is the one of the greatest pop songs of the 21st Century.

-Guns do damage that is quick and permanent. I CAN'T BELIEVE that people are so cavalier about that.

-The NRA doesn't care about your rights. They care about making money off you wanting to exercise your rights.

-French Vanilla creamer is sent from the Gods.

-Empathy is the greatest quality a human can possess.

-Paul Ryan wants to take away poor people's healthcare.

-I have some form of chronic depression or anxiety and it sneaks up on me at weird times (Ex: yesterday before Best Buds at iO Saturdays nights at Midnight. I know you haven't been yet. Just come already!).

-Anna Faris is very good.

-All of my friends are better than all of your friends.

-Friends the TV show doesn't hold up.

-The 90s weren't as cool as you think.

-The 20s weren't as cool as you think.

-The 1520s AD weren't as cool as you think.

-Cat Booty is the best thing I've ever stumbled backwards into.

-My mom is better than French Vanilla creamer.


Thanks for listening. Come back for more.