443 Miles

I HAVE SOME VERY EXCITING NEWS, WORLD!!! ARE YOU READY?!
I have, for the second summer in a row, found myself in a long distance relationship (or whatever)! Isn't that ever so exciting readers?! I'm very excited about this new commitment to always get feelings for the physically unattainable. I think it's the exact thing I need to never be sane again!

But seriously. The boy I've been talking about on here is now 443 miles away (no I didn't googlemaps that exact number; leave me alone) and will not be returning AT ALL until August. Upon hearing this for the first time, I was rather upset. Even though we weren't even slightly a thing when he told me, I realized that if this became a "thing" I would, yet again, have to deal with the nasty beast of distance. Luckily, I'm no stranger to LDR's (as they call them on Pinterest).

Last summer, I was in a relationship with the infamous Charles. Actually, we went on our first date a year ago yesterday so the timing of my whining is perfect.  Charles lived in Columbus while I lived in Dayton. That is about an hour and a half drive if you're speeding. This doesn't seem like a huge distance to most but for two poor college kids, it was difficult. We saw each other MAYBE once a week but often would go two weeks or so without seeing each other. Twas difficult for us.

Being the terribly insecure person I was before I moved to Chicago, I was always terrified he'd fall out of love with me. The distance made me unable to get the constant reassurance I needed at the time. I would sit around and try to think of ways to keep myself on his mind. I called often, texted often, and even sent him a letter hoping to start a mail based dialogue. That letter became a major point of contention in our relationship because he never replied. But that is a separate issue I may bring up in the future (hopefully not). The point of mentioning all of that is that I became obsessed with the idea of proof that he existed. At that point in time, I was also months away from moving to Chicago and knew we were going to break up the minute I started the car. So this obsession with proof was fueled by our inevitable doom. This made me live in a constant state of sadness and dread. Knowing that I would only have him for so long made it hard to enjoy the time I had with him. At a time when I should have been enjoying myself and the people around me, I was worried about whether a boy was thinking about me and missing me as much as I was missing him. This was so foolish and fills me with regret. Not only is that a bad way to go about a relationship it also affected the relationship in a serious way. When you think about something too much, you start to over think and put more meaning into everything. What I mean by that can only be explained by telling you that by the end of the summer, I basically told him he was the greatest love of my life and that I wanted to marry him. We had only known each other for 3 months. Over thinking caused me to idolize this man into my soulmate when he should have been put in my book as just a guy I loved. I'm still embarrassed by that to this day.

My current long distance relationship (or whatever) is under significantly different circumstances. We started seeing each other (whatever that means) a couple of months before distance became an issue, at the end of the summer we will live in the same city, and I'm no longer searching for the same reassurance. The great part about a second time, is that you learn from the first. I know exactly where this relationship (or whatever) stands, I know he misses me too, and I know that I get to choose what upsets me. All of those things combined will make this summer significantly easier. I won't spend the next three months dreaming of his return. I may spend a couple of minutes...let's be honest, hours but I won't spend the bulk of my time thinking about it. I will spend time with my friends, focus on work, write some good comedy, and do a little traveling to the state of New Jersey (Jordan Lee Cohen).

Conclusion paragraph: I'm gonna be happy even though the boy that makes me the happiest is miles away. The end. (Check back in a month when I'm crying about it again)

Thanks for listening. Come back for more.