My life is going really well right now ladies and gents. Not even two weeks ago, I finished a show that I loved with many of my best friends in it directed by Anne Libera. I have been booked for many shows coming up including being a semi-finalist for Chicago's Top College Comedian Competition. I was called back for three roles and was told that I was "incredibly talented" in one of them within the same week. I finally have my improv sea-legs which took months of hard work and practice. I'm turning 21 in two months and get to spend a weekend with my best friend to celebrate. Not to mention, I feel like I have surrounded myself with some of the best, most talented people I've ever met. I'm over the moon with excitement for my life right now. But, seeing as I'm an American, I have found something to spend my Tuesday night weeping over. The more successful I am, the farther I am from finding love. This is strictly a correlation but it has been booming in the back of my mind for weeks now.
I know that I'm young, I know that I've got plenty of time to find "the one", I know that I should be focused on myself right now but I can't help feeling like I'm forever alone. I look around at the beautiful, successful relationships my friends are/have been in. Is it because they are soulmates? Is it because they are lonely and coping with another person? Is it because they deserve it and I don't? What is it? Why am I so caught up on it? I have so many questions and a very small capacity to answer them.
I've slept around quite a bit and I'm not ashamed of it in the least but I'm starting to see how pointless it is for me. I'll confess this, I've never "climaxed" because of a man. I've never felt the rush of clutching at a man while you feel like you're dying and being reborn. I've never even come close. So sex isn't that enjoyable to me but it often makes relationships more complicated than they need to be. Quickly, the relationships start to become about sex and not really love. They become about lust. I noticed this when Charles and I were having a hard time holding a conversation when we weren't horizontal. Our relationship started because we liked each other but quickly became sexual which didn't allow us to really get to know each other. I feel like this is why I don't feel fulfilled. I don't have one relationship to look back on that wasn't about our sexual tension. It has never been about two humans who actually like to spend time with each other outside of the bedroom. I crave a relationship like that. A relationship based in personalities and true respect for one another.
Now that I'm realizing this, I want to try it out and see. But alas, nobody interests me enough to test this theory. Thus I feel hopeless. I feel as if my great love will never come riding in on a red line train to 95th. I feel like no one will look at me with the loving eyes I see couples on the train exchange on a daily basis. I feel like my last and greatest love will be based on my ability to suck and jerk. This distresses me and I don't know how to get it out of my head.
So I work hard during the days and cry even harder at night. I throw myself into my work hoping it'll fill me. Classic early 20s? I don't know, I haven't been through them before but I hope they aren't always like this.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you are cuddled up with your honey or sweetheart or pookie bear or whatever obscenity you choose to use. If you don't have any of those, I hope the discount chocolate you're going to buy tomorrow fills that void like you hoped it would. I know later this evening I will be drinking away my loneliness with many other people. As of right now, I want to tell a story of why this is a relatively hard day for me. February 14th, 2014, I kicked David Chase Michaels out of my life. Well, I suppose I decided that a week later but that night was the incident that led to that decision. Let me set the scene.
Weeks before Valentine's Day, we had decided that we were each other's Valentine. He kept asking me what meal I would want along with what drink. We planned to watch a movie and slow dance like a real romantic outing. I was excited for an evening with my best friend but I remember being closed off to any ideas of real romance. I told him we absolutely could not watch When Harry Met Sally. He agreed. We moved away from the idea and continued to be excited.
I arrived at Dave's in the early evening with a chocolate rose in hand expecting chicken and Woodchuck. When I arrived, Dave was not only preparing dinner but he had gotten me flowers, chocolates and a card. He also color coordinated his outfit with the candles and candlesticks. Red and black. My favorites. Knowing Dave didn't like to keep things like cards, I only got him chocolate. No peanuts. We hugged then proceeded to eat the delicious dinner he had made for me. We talked about nothing and everything as we always seemed to do when together. Once dinner had been ingested, we had to go our separate ways to respective shows. Later, he picked me up from my show and we returned to that glorious studio apartment. Upon our return, he turned on Frank Sinatra and we slow danced. I was uncomfortable with this for some reason. I kept making jokes about it and feeling like I couldn't trust him to not touch my butt for some reason. I felt this energy from him I hadn't before. I couldn't really put my finger on it. We finished our dance and began watching our favorite break up movie, 500 Days of Summer. We watched this movie with my commentary of how stupid relationships are and how little I want one. Fun fact: I was lying to myself and him. I wanted love more than anything. This plays a part in the next and final part of this story. During the movie, Dave kept saying that I should stay the night. He said, it was too snowy and he didn't want me to get stuck anywhere that he would have to come get me. I kept saying no, knowing what he actually wanted. He wanted to hold someone on Valentine's Day. He had been single for a couple of months at that time with no hope of another woman in sight. He always called me his #2 when he was dating his long time girlfriend and when they broke up, I was dating other people. Also we were BFF's and I could never imagine us being "together" in any capacity but apparently he did for at least these few seconds. As I was leaving, he slowly closed his eyes and went for the kiss. He didn't just lean in, he was embracing me. I remember that the only words I could utter while pushing him off were "Dave, NO!" Once I got him off of me, I was so infuriated that I yelled, "I'm taking the chocolates!" and slammed the door in his face. I ran down to my car, which was covered in snow, muttering obscenities to myself. How could he do that? I trusted him to be the one guy to never do that to me. I felt so betrayed.
I know now that I over reacted in those moments. He was a better friend to me than anyone had ever been and I turned him away after one mistake on his part. All he wanted was someone to hold that night. He was so lonely at that point in time and I cut off one of the relationships he loved most because I was scared of myself. I didn't know how to work things out and move on. I just thought it had to be over.
About a week later, we met to talk about the incident and I asked him why he did it. He simply replied, "Because I wanted to." At the time, that was not a good enough excuse for me. The trust was officially broken in that moment.
I have realized in the last few months, I was so terribly wrong. If I could go back, I would have stayed with him that night. If I would have known I would never have been able to hug him again, I would have cuddled him all night a year ago. I would have slow danced with him until my legs went numb. I would have kissed him until my lips fell off. I would do anything if it meant we got one more minute together. One more minute to tell him how sorry I am and how much I wish he knew what he meant to me. One more minute to laugh at his jokes and hear him laugh at mine. One more minute of that face, smiling, moving, alive. I would honestly do anything.
But I can't do anything to bring him back so I sit here with my coffee and try to remember the good days when I wasn't being a bitch. I remember the days he took me to the drive in, the days he slept in my apartment, the days I slept in his. I just try to remember how much he loved me. That's all I can do. Especially on a day like this, with haunting memories like that.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
Weeks before Valentine's Day, we had decided that we were each other's Valentine. He kept asking me what meal I would want along with what drink. We planned to watch a movie and slow dance like a real romantic outing. I was excited for an evening with my best friend but I remember being closed off to any ideas of real romance. I told him we absolutely could not watch When Harry Met Sally. He agreed. We moved away from the idea and continued to be excited.
I arrived at Dave's in the early evening with a chocolate rose in hand expecting chicken and Woodchuck. When I arrived, Dave was not only preparing dinner but he had gotten me flowers, chocolates and a card. He also color coordinated his outfit with the candles and candlesticks. Red and black. My favorites. Knowing Dave didn't like to keep things like cards, I only got him chocolate. No peanuts. We hugged then proceeded to eat the delicious dinner he had made for me. We talked about nothing and everything as we always seemed to do when together. Once dinner had been ingested, we had to go our separate ways to respective shows. Later, he picked me up from my show and we returned to that glorious studio apartment. Upon our return, he turned on Frank Sinatra and we slow danced. I was uncomfortable with this for some reason. I kept making jokes about it and feeling like I couldn't trust him to not touch my butt for some reason. I felt this energy from him I hadn't before. I couldn't really put my finger on it. We finished our dance and began watching our favorite break up movie, 500 Days of Summer. We watched this movie with my commentary of how stupid relationships are and how little I want one. Fun fact: I was lying to myself and him. I wanted love more than anything. This plays a part in the next and final part of this story. During the movie, Dave kept saying that I should stay the night. He said, it was too snowy and he didn't want me to get stuck anywhere that he would have to come get me. I kept saying no, knowing what he actually wanted. He wanted to hold someone on Valentine's Day. He had been single for a couple of months at that time with no hope of another woman in sight. He always called me his #2 when he was dating his long time girlfriend and when they broke up, I was dating other people. Also we were BFF's and I could never imagine us being "together" in any capacity but apparently he did for at least these few seconds. As I was leaving, he slowly closed his eyes and went for the kiss. He didn't just lean in, he was embracing me. I remember that the only words I could utter while pushing him off were "Dave, NO!" Once I got him off of me, I was so infuriated that I yelled, "I'm taking the chocolates!" and slammed the door in his face. I ran down to my car, which was covered in snow, muttering obscenities to myself. How could he do that? I trusted him to be the one guy to never do that to me. I felt so betrayed.
I know now that I over reacted in those moments. He was a better friend to me than anyone had ever been and I turned him away after one mistake on his part. All he wanted was someone to hold that night. He was so lonely at that point in time and I cut off one of the relationships he loved most because I was scared of myself. I didn't know how to work things out and move on. I just thought it had to be over.
About a week later, we met to talk about the incident and I asked him why he did it. He simply replied, "Because I wanted to." At the time, that was not a good enough excuse for me. The trust was officially broken in that moment.
I have realized in the last few months, I was so terribly wrong. If I could go back, I would have stayed with him that night. If I would have known I would never have been able to hug him again, I would have cuddled him all night a year ago. I would have slow danced with him until my legs went numb. I would have kissed him until my lips fell off. I would do anything if it meant we got one more minute together. One more minute to tell him how sorry I am and how much I wish he knew what he meant to me. One more minute to laugh at his jokes and hear him laugh at mine. One more minute of that face, smiling, moving, alive. I would honestly do anything.
But I can't do anything to bring him back so I sit here with my coffee and try to remember the good days when I wasn't being a bitch. I remember the days he took me to the drive in, the days he slept in my apartment, the days I slept in his. I just try to remember how much he loved me. That's all I can do. Especially on a day like this, with haunting memories like that.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Thank you for listening. Come back for more.
Hello internets. I have a simple message for you today....
Thank you for reading this blog. I know you don't have to but you still choose to take a couple of minutes out of your day to listen to my take on this short life we have. Every time someone tells me they read this blog, I get so embarrassed. How could anyone really care what's coming out of my 20 year old brain? Seriously, there are lists about things only introverts understand to be reading. I only make lists of things that are very personal to me and people still read them. I started this blog as a sort of message in a bottle. I wanted to record my 20's in a way other than just writing in my notebook. I also have this philosophy that if you're brave enough to confront issues in life, like I do on this blog, you owe it to the people who aren't to confront them head on. I never imagined it would come up at parties and in class and such. It has taught me that I am heard. I'm not shouting into oblivion, I'm reaching the brains of my peers. Whether it helps people or it's just light reading that isn't about ISIS, I don't care. I'm just glad it's interesting to some people.
Thank you so much for reading my sad poems and epiphanies. Thank you for following my "love life" and my grieving process. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Thank you.
Thank you for listening. Come back for more.
Thank you for reading this blog. I know you don't have to but you still choose to take a couple of minutes out of your day to listen to my take on this short life we have. Every time someone tells me they read this blog, I get so embarrassed. How could anyone really care what's coming out of my 20 year old brain? Seriously, there are lists about things only introverts understand to be reading. I only make lists of things that are very personal to me and people still read them. I started this blog as a sort of message in a bottle. I wanted to record my 20's in a way other than just writing in my notebook. I also have this philosophy that if you're brave enough to confront issues in life, like I do on this blog, you owe it to the people who aren't to confront them head on. I never imagined it would come up at parties and in class and such. It has taught me that I am heard. I'm not shouting into oblivion, I'm reaching the brains of my peers. Whether it helps people or it's just light reading that isn't about ISIS, I don't care. I'm just glad it's interesting to some people.
Thank you so much for reading my sad poems and epiphanies. Thank you for following my "love life" and my grieving process. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Thank you.
Thank you for listening. Come back for more.
Friday, January 30, 2015
No Way
How many tears can one girl make?
This winter I lost a dear young friend,
Without a wake.
He was a friend,
Who liked to pretend,
We would love each other until the end.
On Valentine’s Day, my trust was thrown away,
Because earlier that day, he asked me to stay.
I said no way.
When I had gotten the call,
That he had taken his potential all,
From a spot where he was bald,
I had to crawl, up in a fetal ball,
And scream, no way.
As I put on a black shirt,
On a Tuesday so cold, it hurt,
My brain was not alert,
To the images that would cross my eyes,
And the sounds that would incarnate my cries,
And make me say,
No way.
On my wall hangs a picture of you,
A picture of just a girl and a jew,
Sharing a party like real friends do,
I look up to remember you,
And all the things I never knew,
About you.
And hoping today,
I’ll no longer say,
To any friends I wish to stay,
I’ll no longer say,
No way.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Acceptance
This past weekend, I met a little improv group called the Plastic Shatners. They hail from Bowling Green State University. I met these lovely humans because one of my oldest former frenemies (now friends), Natalie is their coach/director. I spent a wonderful day with them, watching them perform, eating pizza, riding trains, and seeing more improv. Exciting stuff. But this entry isn't about them.
A few moments ago, I got a text from Natalie thanking me for recording and telling me how much they enjoyed hanging out. "The entire team really loves you!" were her exact words. At that moment, I was filled with so much joy that a tiny squeak escaped my mouth. They liked me! An entire group of people liked me. YAY!
But then I suddenly realized how much joy I was getting from this sentiment. Then I started to think about how all I ever wanted was for them to like me. From the minute she introduced me, I wanted them to think I was cool and interesting. I wanted their acceptance. This troubled me a little bit. I started to think about all the groups of people or even just single persons that I want to accept me and how much "happier" I would be if they did. This seems so silly. I like me. I think I've got interesting things to say. I have a point of view that is completely unique to me. So why do I care if certain people also enjoy me? I mean everyone cares if people like them. But why do I care SO MUCH!?
Though I really enjoyed the Plastic Shatners, and think that everyone at BGSU should be going to see every show they put on, I still think I craved their acceptance like I do with many other people. I'm starting to believe that might be the root of a lot of my unhappiness and depressive days. The question, "Why aren't I cool enough for them?" sends me into a spiral of emotions and I'm sick of it.
I repeat I like me. HECK I LOVE ME! I think I'm funny and I love being around people who think the same. That's all I need to focus on. I don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself. I answer to two people, myself and God. That's it.
This is really just a random post with a revelation I had right before my afternoon nap. Please read it and give any feedback you wish.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
A few moments ago, I got a text from Natalie thanking me for recording and telling me how much they enjoyed hanging out. "The entire team really loves you!" were her exact words. At that moment, I was filled with so much joy that a tiny squeak escaped my mouth. They liked me! An entire group of people liked me. YAY!
But then I suddenly realized how much joy I was getting from this sentiment. Then I started to think about how all I ever wanted was for them to like me. From the minute she introduced me, I wanted them to think I was cool and interesting. I wanted their acceptance. This troubled me a little bit. I started to think about all the groups of people or even just single persons that I want to accept me and how much "happier" I would be if they did. This seems so silly. I like me. I think I've got interesting things to say. I have a point of view that is completely unique to me. So why do I care if certain people also enjoy me? I mean everyone cares if people like them. But why do I care SO MUCH!?
Though I really enjoyed the Plastic Shatners, and think that everyone at BGSU should be going to see every show they put on, I still think I craved their acceptance like I do with many other people. I'm starting to believe that might be the root of a lot of my unhappiness and depressive days. The question, "Why aren't I cool enough for them?" sends me into a spiral of emotions and I'm sick of it.
I repeat I like me. HECK I LOVE ME! I think I'm funny and I love being around people who think the same. That's all I need to focus on. I don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself. I answer to two people, myself and God. That's it.
This is really just a random post with a revelation I had right before my afternoon nap. Please read it and give any feedback you wish.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Dear Creativity
Dear Creativity,
Hello
dear old friend. I hope you’re doing well wherever you are; on the sandy
beaches of Costa Rica, under the stars in Italy or at a noisy pub in Ireland. I
really hope you’re gaining experiences and stories there to bring back to me. Also,
when are you coming back? I have a couple of projects I’d like to work on but I
really need you by my side. I know things got complicated when we went back to Ohio,
but I think a month and a half is enough time to get back to normal. I know you aren’t the same since
then but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be here with me.
You’ve
done some really great stuff. You’ve created at least 15 minutes of successful
stand up, including the crowd favorite “Cougar trapped in a little girl’s
body”. That was all you! I can only take credit because I’m the human you used
to bring it to life. Creativity, listen, I don’t know why you left but please come
back. One death of a former friend is no reason to go running away to distant
lands without me. If you come back, I promise I’ll work with you. I’ll
transcribe your ideas for the world and all will be well. I have so many dick
jokes that won’t be funny without you. Just please come back. There is a spot
for you at my desk, in my brain and in my heart. I don’t want to get sappy but I’m
nothing without you. I chose a life with you rather than practicality. Because
of this, practicality still isn’t speaking to me. I would be upset by that but
I don’t really care. I want you in my life until the day that I die. So please
please please, come back to me.
Now
I’m begging. I’ll stop constantly checking Facebook if you come back. You wanna
know why? Because I won’t need to because I’ll be too busy spending time
writing with you. SO PLEASE COME BACK!
Sincerely,
Weird
Ally Yank-A-Dick
Friday, January 23, 2015
#blessed
Alright, alright! I've noticed how much I've been posting sad/angsty entries in the last couple of months. After losing Dave, I felt like all I could write was poems about death and heartbreak. Well ladies and gay gentlemen, I'm changing that tonight. After I lost him, I realized how often I take friends for granted. I focus on my "damage" in my writing rather than my blessings. I want to spotlight a couple of people who, not only read this blog on a regular basis but, give me a happy life, full of laughter and love. So here it goes:
1) Megan "You Would Be So Lucky" Stalter- This gal has been on my side from the minute I met her. I remember seeing her in a show at the Black Box and thinking, she is unlike anyone I've ever met. After that, I never really spoke with her often. We would laugh together at comedy shows but it never really went past acquaintances. That is, until I started this blog. One post resonated with Megan in a special way and she messaged me immediately after she read it. She wrote a poem to me about how we aren't the decisions we make. It was beautiful and from that moment on, I knew I wanted her in my life. The minute I moved to Chicago, she welcomed me with out stretched arms and an open car door. Though I haven't seen much of her since I've been back, when I did see her, it was as if nothing had changed.
Now the sappy part: Megan is one of those people that fill you with happiness. I will always remember our car rides back into the city screaming, "WE LIVE HERE!" and crying from laughing so hard. Every time I leave her side, I gain a sense of why I wanted to do comedy in the first place. She re-energizes me in a way no one else can. Her passion for life is contagious and let's just say I'm not washing my hands anytime soon. People like her deserve all the love and affection in the world. Any guy would be lucky to have her but the comedy world is truly the most blessed to have her walking around it's most sacred halls. I love this girl and love seeing her blow the lid off of the world in a funny and unique way.
2) Kara Back-Schaefer- I really don't need to tell her how much she means to me because she is my best best best friend. Kara and I met when our parents began dating at least 10 years ago. I remember meeting her and calling her "Car-Uh" multiple times. I wasn't really sure about how to feel about her until we started playing a Harry Potter videogame. I finally thought, I like this kid, and began to be friends with her. Months later, our parents stopped dating and we stopped being "sisters". Though this was sad, we moved on and didn't speak for years. FAST FORWARD to 2013 when I posted a status about going on a trip to Chicago whether I went alone or not. Kara commented that she would go and 2 months later, we entered Chicago on a Megabus with tears in our eyes. This trip bonded us in a way that not many newer friendships get to bond. We got lost, got drunk, got silly. We became best friends that weekend. After that trip was over, we vowed that we would take a trip every year to a place we had never been. This year, we kept that promise and went to Charleston, SC to visit my friend Doug. The bond tightened even more. Right now, we have our own lives happening in two completely different places but we maintain a friendship. Long distance is hard but she keeps it fun. We call every Sunday and "update" each other on our exciting or boring weeks.
Let's get sappy for a second: Kara is the calm to my storm. Though she can be wacky and crazy just like me, she spends half of the time consoling me and telling me when it's going to be alright. We are brutally honest with each other in a way that I haven't really experience in other friendship. I can't tell you how many times either one of us tells the other that life is going to suck for a while but we will learn something from each experience. Kara is one of the finest examples of a human being I've ever met. Her acceptance of me and my shit makes me more than grateful to her. She is going to help more people than I can even fathom and anyone would be lucky to have her in their life. I sure as hell know I am. I love her and hope she calls me every Sunday until one of us is covered in dirt.
3) Jordan "Jersey" Cohen- Holy shit, where do I even start with this one? I met her in my first improv class here in Chicago. In her signature peplum, flower combo, she was an interesting sight to behold. She spoke with such confidence and determination, even in the words, "My name is Jordan!" I remember laughing at everything she said. A week or so passed and I received a message from her asking if I wanted to go to the free improv set at Second City. I said yes and our friendship began. Thanks to one Facebook message, I was blessed with a friend unlike any I had before.We fight and bicker, but we always end on a high note. She is one of those friends I know I can be real with and vice versa. I enjoy her presence more and more everyday.
Ugh, sappy sappy sappy: Jordan will be famous one day. She will change the world through comedy in one way or another. She is the hardest working person I've ever met...well when she really cares about something she is the hardest working person I've ever met. She is stubborn but kind. She is beautiful but humble. She is hilarious but grounded. I'm madly in love with her and her friendship means the world to me. I call her one of my muses because I absolutely mean it. She inspires me on a daily basis and never ceases to surprise me. She lives the way I've always dreamed and I'm honored that she wants me to be a part of her life. I honestly can't wait to see what life has for her next.
Honorable Mentions:
Becca Sebree- Your confidence in me and kindness helps me more than you know.
Lily White- I want to be you when I grow up.
Jamie Meun- I'm constantly floored by your sense of humor and loving disposition.
Julia Musolino- You keep me honest and make me pee from laughing.
Shyrleen Doughty- I got all my good traits from you and I owe you everything.
Kathleen Hotmer- You're guidance and friendship keep me from growing gray hairs.
Matt Hayes- You've never given up on me. One day, I will repay you, Pseudo-dad.
As a closing statement, I would like to challenge anyone who read this to look around at the people in your life and think about whether they insight such passion in you. If they do, tell them thank you. Sometimes people need to know they are needed.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
1) Megan "You Would Be So Lucky" Stalter- This gal has been on my side from the minute I met her. I remember seeing her in a show at the Black Box and thinking, she is unlike anyone I've ever met. After that, I never really spoke with her often. We would laugh together at comedy shows but it never really went past acquaintances. That is, until I started this blog. One post resonated with Megan in a special way and she messaged me immediately after she read it. She wrote a poem to me about how we aren't the decisions we make. It was beautiful and from that moment on, I knew I wanted her in my life. The minute I moved to Chicago, she welcomed me with out stretched arms and an open car door. Though I haven't seen much of her since I've been back, when I did see her, it was as if nothing had changed.
Now the sappy part: Megan is one of those people that fill you with happiness. I will always remember our car rides back into the city screaming, "WE LIVE HERE!" and crying from laughing so hard. Every time I leave her side, I gain a sense of why I wanted to do comedy in the first place. She re-energizes me in a way no one else can. Her passion for life is contagious and let's just say I'm not washing my hands anytime soon. People like her deserve all the love and affection in the world. Any guy would be lucky to have her but the comedy world is truly the most blessed to have her walking around it's most sacred halls. I love this girl and love seeing her blow the lid off of the world in a funny and unique way.
2) Kara Back-Schaefer- I really don't need to tell her how much she means to me because she is my best best best friend. Kara and I met when our parents began dating at least 10 years ago. I remember meeting her and calling her "Car-Uh" multiple times. I wasn't really sure about how to feel about her until we started playing a Harry Potter videogame. I finally thought, I like this kid, and began to be friends with her. Months later, our parents stopped dating and we stopped being "sisters". Though this was sad, we moved on and didn't speak for years. FAST FORWARD to 2013 when I posted a status about going on a trip to Chicago whether I went alone or not. Kara commented that she would go and 2 months later, we entered Chicago on a Megabus with tears in our eyes. This trip bonded us in a way that not many newer friendships get to bond. We got lost, got drunk, got silly. We became best friends that weekend. After that trip was over, we vowed that we would take a trip every year to a place we had never been. This year, we kept that promise and went to Charleston, SC to visit my friend Doug. The bond tightened even more. Right now, we have our own lives happening in two completely different places but we maintain a friendship. Long distance is hard but she keeps it fun. We call every Sunday and "update" each other on our exciting or boring weeks.
Let's get sappy for a second: Kara is the calm to my storm. Though she can be wacky and crazy just like me, she spends half of the time consoling me and telling me when it's going to be alright. We are brutally honest with each other in a way that I haven't really experience in other friendship. I can't tell you how many times either one of us tells the other that life is going to suck for a while but we will learn something from each experience. Kara is one of the finest examples of a human being I've ever met. Her acceptance of me and my shit makes me more than grateful to her. She is going to help more people than I can even fathom and anyone would be lucky to have her in their life. I sure as hell know I am. I love her and hope she calls me every Sunday until one of us is covered in dirt.
3) Jordan "Jersey" Cohen- Holy shit, where do I even start with this one? I met her in my first improv class here in Chicago. In her signature peplum, flower combo, she was an interesting sight to behold. She spoke with such confidence and determination, even in the words, "My name is Jordan!" I remember laughing at everything she said. A week or so passed and I received a message from her asking if I wanted to go to the free improv set at Second City. I said yes and our friendship began. Thanks to one Facebook message, I was blessed with a friend unlike any I had before.We fight and bicker, but we always end on a high note. She is one of those friends I know I can be real with and vice versa. I enjoy her presence more and more everyday.
Ugh, sappy sappy sappy: Jordan will be famous one day. She will change the world through comedy in one way or another. She is the hardest working person I've ever met...well when she really cares about something she is the hardest working person I've ever met. She is stubborn but kind. She is beautiful but humble. She is hilarious but grounded. I'm madly in love with her and her friendship means the world to me. I call her one of my muses because I absolutely mean it. She inspires me on a daily basis and never ceases to surprise me. She lives the way I've always dreamed and I'm honored that she wants me to be a part of her life. I honestly can't wait to see what life has for her next.
Honorable Mentions:
Becca Sebree- Your confidence in me and kindness helps me more than you know.
Lily White- I want to be you when I grow up.
Jamie Meun- I'm constantly floored by your sense of humor and loving disposition.
Julia Musolino- You keep me honest and make me pee from laughing.
Shyrleen Doughty- I got all my good traits from you and I owe you everything.
Kathleen Hotmer- You're guidance and friendship keep me from growing gray hairs.
Matt Hayes- You've never given up on me. One day, I will repay you, Pseudo-dad.
As a closing statement, I would like to challenge anyone who read this to look around at the people in your life and think about whether they insight such passion in you. If they do, tell them thank you. Sometimes people need to know they are needed.
Thanks for listening. Come back for more.
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